NS, the Dutch train company, gave me a ticket  to  ride first class for the whole year. So for the past few months, there I sit, on that comfy sits, along with 50+ people in their suits, feeling privileged. Giving each other that ‘first class wink, smile and nod  (no we don’t).

I have been asked plenty of time “how does it feel to be a mom?” And depending on how much rest I got on that day, the answers range from “it’s tiring..” to “it’s great!”. But it has always been a one-word answer, and then we’d move the conversation along. Afterwards I’d toss and turn thinking what I should have said, and then accepted that it’s probably an indescribable feeling.

But low and behold, thanks to NS,  I have  found how to describe it: It is like being first class. Look, when you were at second class you’d think: why bother, I am fine here at second class, it’s too expensive anyways. Well people, being on the first class is beyond worth it.

Parents, well moms at least, also give each other that first class wink, smile and nod. Pregnant women are able to relate to this. Suddenly you see so many other pregnant women on the streets and you smile at her before you realize that she is actually a total stranger.

Being a mom also turns you into a nice pink crab. Hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

I think for mothers, the hard shell mostly comes from that saintly feeling of carrying a life inside you for 10 months, or those superhuman hours when you survived the long labor and that your breasts are now not merely decorations but they are ‘working boobs’.

With these hard shells, suddenly I stop taking shits from others. For me, this means finding  better job conditions and cutting out people who are negative and simply exhausting. I have lost the need to befriend everyone and only be with the people I actually want to spend time with.

And the soft inside of the crab is just love-mushy hormones. I’d get teary eyes for no reason sometimes.

So new parents, hope this has helped you answer the question of  ‘how does it feel..”. Just remember: first class and crabs.

wink, smile and nod,

L.